Blog: What Do You Really Want in Your Next Relationship?

I’ve taken the plunge; I’m signed on to an on-line dating service and I can verify that there are lots of them.

There are the Big Ones, for sure, like Match.com and E-harmony, but there are also lesser known ones like Chemistry.com and OurTime.com, which is for what we now call the “older crowd,” post 50.

Creating a bio for your/ourselves is not easy since it requires us to be honest and candid and not boring. Catchy headlines may get attention, but sometimes that can scream trouble at the same time. The initial questions are pretty basic, including city, age, height and profession since they are standard metrics.

The challenge is when it asks things like, “How do you describe your personality in one word?” What is that one word? Selections include, artsy, beach bum, class clown (probably not the best option), diva, geek, night owl, player, and so forth. None of us are the same all the time and have aspects of many options. This question was the first hurdle.

The next option asked “What are you looking for?,” and the choices were, hang-out, long-term, dating, friends, or intimate encounter. My guess is no one picks that last one. The answer depends on your/our state of mind and most certainly by the person we meet.

But it was the last one that threw me. It wanted to know, “What is my intention?” And the answer was “I’m not sure,” which unfortunately was not a choice. Here’s what they offered:

• Casual dating/ no commitment
• Dating, but nothing serious
• I want a relationship (Not in all caps)
• Putting in serious effort to find someone, and finally the big deal maker or breaker,
• I am serious and want marriage

As I looked at those questions I was puzzled since I wasn’t sure. After coming out of a marriage that has been challenging initially caused me to be gun-shy, but would I avoid it again? The answer is “no.” I enjoy being monogamous and even though there’s little benefit to marrying at a later age, I can’t say never like I though I once would.

So here’s the question of the week for those that are indeed “single again:”

What is your motivation and desire for your future? Have you had experiences with this inter personal on-line dating experience? Share your thoughts and let’s learn together.