Remember the '80s?
Shoulder pads. Sprayed bangs. Velcro tennis shoes. Breakdancing. Punky Brewster.
Are you sweetly reminiscing yet? You can relive your greatest '80s moments right here along Coast Highway. See, if you take the good and you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... well you know.
Footloose (1984): Tuesday night at on the Peninsula is '80s Night. That means $6.95 Sirloin Beef Tips and endless '80s music. I dare you to bust out those old dance moves. You know the ones: the Smurf (how apropos), the Running Man, the Robot, the Tom and Jerry, pop locking, vogue-ing, the Cabbage Patch, the worm and, of course, the moonwalk. See how many phone numbers you get with those sexy moves.
Magnum P.I. (1980-1988): Remember the stache? That's all you need to remember. The Hawaiian islands were a nice co-star too, but besides the hairy lip, the most iconic thing was Selleck's Ferrari. At the showroom they have a fleet of cars to choose from and if you can't afford to buy one, then they have a boutique inside too. Buy a Ferrari hat instead, grow a stache and put on some tight white shorts. You'll be looking like Magnum in no time.
American Gigolo (1980): Before Richard Gere was purchasing ... er ... picking up pretty women, he was hooking himself out the classy way. Getting the cougars with the money was easy with a face like that, but mostly (and take note guys) with an Armani wardrobe and a nice stereo system. Oh, how superficial were the eighties! Get your suit on, hey pale pink shirts are okay, and strut on over to 3-Thirty-3 Waterfront. They have fast cars in the valet and cougars at the bar. It's an immediate flashback without having to get into a DeLorean. How did that flux capacitor work anyways?
Miami Vice (1984-1989): Okay, Okay. If you did not have a crush on Don Johnson (guys you know you had a male crush on him too) then, I'm sorry, your eyes and pulse need to be checked. Remember the white blazer, the pastel tee underneath? The only way to relive this hot show (no, don't try to bust crack dealers on the Peninsula) is to rent a 17' Ocean Runabout for $120/hr. Get your best friend (that would be Tubbs) and take a ride outside of the harbor, get it going fast, so that salty air is moving through your moussed hair and your 5 o'clock shadow. Sorry guys, I'd send you to the token strip club that is in every episode but we don't have any in Newport.
Howard the Duck (1986): I'm digging deep into the '80s vault with this one. How could I forget this bad-movie-I-love? I wish I could dress a duck up in a plaid suit and tie and take him to Sol Cocina with me for . But that would be weird. What would people think? "Tiffany, seriously, is a duck the only date you could get?" But people don't understand Howard's sensitivity and sense of humor. Love is so complicated. So instead I take a walk around Balboa Island and watch the boring ducks, the ones with no clothes on just swimming around the harbor. I take the Balboa Island Ferry across to the where I drink $3 Mai Tai's.
Charlie's Angels (1976-1981): This is my show. I'm taking possession of it right now. For the real fans out there, remember there was an Angel named Tiffany towards the end. I just like to say that because there are never any "Tiffany" characters in TV shows unless they're strippers. Of course Ms. Farrah Fawcett as Jill and Jaclyn Smith as Kelly and that brown-haired one that nobody cared about. Bring your girls and have a fun night out at where you can see the dazzling Miss Dakota and her troupe of burlesque dancers. A live band performs with her. Order a real Charlie's Angel (Shirley Temple with vodka) at the bar and pose like the Angels in your friend's iPhone pics, except use your hands, not real guns.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure (1985): "I know you are, but what am I?" I would say relive the eighties by taking off in a big rig and "tell 'em Large Marge sent ya", but even better is renting a beach cruiser on the Peninsula for the day (a red one with a bell would be ideal). Head over to the and have some tequila shots while putting a quarter in the jukebox (yes, choose the song "Tequila") Not sure if dancing on the bar in white loafers is allowed. Proceed at your own risk.
CHiPS (1977-1983): Who didn't like CHiPS? You can have a run-in with local cops every Saturday night on the Peninsula, but you probably don't want to do that for your ChiPS fix. Instead, hang out with Ponch and Jon at Dough Boys, the 24-hour donut and bagel shop on Coast Highway and Balboa Ave. Fresh doughnuts all day long and men in uniform. Hey, buy a cop a doughnut and maybe you'll get a ride-a-long. Oh yeah, they get them for free. Well, just charm them with your dynamic personality. Note: You can relive T.J. Hooker (1985) this way too.
Caddyshack (1980): Please don't relive the '80s by putting a Baby Ruth in a public swimming pool. Not cool. Instead, get those cute plaid knickers on, a polo shirt and tie a sweater over your shoulders and hit the . 18-holes of golf featuring rough, short grass and a sand trap. It's okay to act like a preppy rich jerk while putting, you're just relieving the '80s, man.
Alice (1976-1985): Everyone's favorite gum smacking waitress was Flo "kiss my grits" Castleberry. I haven't encountered any snappy waitresses in Newport yet, but I love the old-fashioned diner off Bayside Drive. Their chocolate malts are the best in town. It's been privately owned and operated since the 1950s. Everyone is so welcoming and the diner has that retro feel.
Can't Buy Me Love (1987): Finding a nerd to buy you a suede fringed bustier at the mall is a no-brainer. Getting that red wine stain out is another story. Take an afternoon off and head to with nerd in tote. He can use his telescope money to buy you lavish gifts at and lunch at Cafe R&D. He'll go from totally geek to totally chic once you give him a makeover at the . Just don't let him ride your lawn mower. It's just too soon in the relationship.
Fantasy Island (1978-1984): "Da plane, boss. Da Plane." Oh how I loved me some Tattoo. Mr. Roarke was kind of creepy even though I was hypnotized by that sexy accent. I always loved when Charo would arrive at the Island, because I'd be like "Hey, weren't you just on the Love Boat?" Girl gets around. Take the out from Newport Harbor and over to Catalina (duh!). A great place to spend the day, rent a golf cart and create your own fantasies, whatever they may be. I really don't want to know.
Weekend at Bernies (1989): This is so easy you can do it at home. Have some fun over at the Peninsula. Bring your party friend (the one that still busts out the "hang loose" sign and says "Dude!" even though it's 2011). He'll get hammered, no doubt, carry him around to all the other bars on your own . Take pictures with him, have locals take pictures with him. Upload them on Facebook and see how many "likes" you get on that album. It's even funnier after a Mut schooner.
Three's Company (1977-1984): Two girls and a guy cohabiting in one apartment. Sounds like a party. But the real party was over at the Regal Beagle. It was so cool even Mr. Roper got his game on there. There is a real Regal Beagle in San Diego, but over here we have . A dark, sexy establishment with a killer gourmet happy hour and Newport's finest cozying up to the bar. In case you find someone special, because after all it's the '80s, go next door to A Market and get some wine and cheese to go. Very classy, very suave, very Jack Tripper. Especially when you fall over that tricky entrance they have.
Top Gun: Don't even think about it. I'm not getting you boys up in a plane. No. Beach volleyball. That's right, and I'm blasting Kenny Loggins' Playing with the Boys because that's all I got in my tape deck. After a lot of sweating and patting each other on the backside, walk on over to on the Peninsula for some brewskies (I'm trying to sound like a man from the '80s). If you can, please recommend a Karaoke place in Newport because I can't find one then it would be ideal to sing to the cutest girl in the bar.