Ashley says Goodbye to Corona del Mar's Ryan Park on 'The Bachelorette'

Monday's episode of The Bachelorette on ABC was the most painful one to watch ... for me, at least. I've invested almost two months in this show. Here in Newport Beach we all have been rooting for our hometown hero, Ryan Park of Corona del Mar, to go all the way with Bachelorette Ashley Hebert (and I mean marriage. Close those dirty minds). And now it's over and it's okay to shed a little tear for our perennially-smiling Ryan and hiss at Ashley. Hiss. Hiss. 

Related: Catch up on past episodes

Overview

Ashley waited until the very end to grant CdM Ryan his first one-on-one date since the show began in May. Before that, she romped around Taiwan with the rest of her competing bachelors, going on second dates with the remaining six before Ryan even had one. 

There were four dates this episode: three romantic one-on-one dates and one group date. Only four bachelors received roses, and they are the ones who will introduce Ashley to their parents next week in the hometown episode. 

Ryan was already thinking ahead to next week: "I think it's really possible for Ashley to be my wife. I would love to bring her home."

During the train ride to Taiwan, Ashley speaks well of Ryan.

"Ryan has always been one of the guys I felt safe with," she said.

She always says this about the guys. Did we have security blanket issues as a baby? Grow up Linus! 

First Date: Constantine

One of the least interested guys (I mean guys that seem to be the least interested in Ashley) is Constantine. They took a steam train to Ping-Shi, a small village outside Taipei. Ashley called it "the most adorable little village" so I kept waiting for the Smurfs to pop their heads out of a hut and sing songs. Thanks for the letdown Ashley. 

Constantine and Ashley painted their love wishes on a red lantern which they later released into the sky. Constantine kept on talking about finding love, but never mentioning Ashley's name, only saying "I want to find somebody special." 

The funniest moment of the entire show was during an outtake where Constantine laid the lantern on the ground while he and Ashley talked on a bench and a dog came by and peed on the lantern. 

Ashley: Our love just got pissed on.

Constantine: Damn!

Later the two had dinner and Ashley put her hand on his knee, but he didn't respond and kept eating. It was quite awkward. Even though they had a long kiss, you could tell he's not into her. 

Back at the Bachelor Penthouse

Ben F, 28, a winemaker, tells the cameras,: "It's almost a little too late for Ryan. I'd like to think that Ryan and Ashley aren't right for each other based on that fact that no one can get along with him."

Ben F. gets the next one-on-one date card. 

"Ashley is saving the best for last and I intend to set the tone for hometown," CdM Ryan said. 

Second Date: Ben F. 

Ashley made a point early on to mention, "I'm looking for the full package, an emotional and physical connection." She repeated this three times throughout the episode like this was some sort of Jack Handey Deep Thoughts mantra. We get it Ashley!

Ben and Ashley took a scooter ride along curvy roads and through long tunnels. They shared a kiss on a suspension bridge.

"I think I might be falling in love with Ben. I feel like he's my boyfriend," Ashley said.

Ben F. tells Ashley that he is developing stronger feelings for her.

"I don't throw the "L" bomb around, but it all came pouring over me as we were riding on that little scooter," he said.

The "L" bomb? Why is it so hard for guys to say love. Jeez! And you came to that conclusion while riding on a scooter? Hey, Ben! I'll take you for a ride in my Jetta, a real car with four doors and a trunk and then maybe you will be obsessed with me!

Back at the Bachelor Penthouse

CdM Ryan is going crazy back at the penthouse because he hasn't received word yet if he is going to get a one on one date.

"I haven't been sleeping the last two nights," he said. "Here we go again. I haven't had a one-on-one date yet. I've been on every group date. This week is a crucial week. I need to spend some time with her."

The group date card comes and Ryan's name is not on it. He flops back on the couch in relief.

"Can I see that please (the date card)? I just need to make sure that my name is not on it," said Ryan. "It's exciting. There's a whole bunch of energy running through me that I just can't keep in."

Lucas added his own Debbie Downer comment: "They're (Ashley and Ryan) definitely not right for each other."

The Next Morning

The guys are all gossiping like teenage girls in the penthouse because Ben F. hasn't returned from his date yet. J.P. was livid.

"I don't want to think about it," he said. "I don't want to talk about it, I don't give a [duck]" (well you know what he really said). 

Ben F. then walks in with his overnight bag like a sweet sinner and J.P. walks out of the room disgusted. Ben F. assures the guys that there was no tickle-me-elmo going on and that they slept in separate rooms. 

Group Date

What a fun group date. Getting dressed up in bridal wear and being photographed. This sounds like every man's nightmare and it was for Lucas who had to wear a traditional silk outfit that made him look like a dime store geisha girl. Ames dressed up in a baby blue tux with ostrich feathers in the lapel. A very 70s prom look romanced with a little Elton John. J.P. got lucky and got to wear a black tuxedo.

The whole time the other bachelors were getting photographed with Ashley, J.P. was steaming.

"I don't want to see her in a wedding dress with other guys," he said.

Psycho Stalker alert!

J.P. kept making scary remarks the whole night. At the group date cocktail party he pouted to Ashley: "Group dates suck, It's uncomfortable. It made me crazy. I guess it's jealously."

"I thought you were as cool as a cucumber," Ashley reassured him. Oh Ashley, let's not bring innocent vegetables into this. What did they ever do to you?

Ashley calmed the baby down by giving him a rose. There there, now, take the rose like a good boy.

"I feel back on cloud nine," said J.P. 

Back at the Bachelor Penthouse

Ben F: Here we go, Ryan's moment of truth.

CdM Ryan: My name better be on that card.

Ben F: (reads the card) Ryan, Let's get a taste of Tai Pei, Love, Ashley.

CdM Ryan: Let me see it. (Ryan takes the card). I'm going to sleep with this right next to me. 

Ryan's First and Last One-on-One Date

It was the moment we had all been waiting for. I was nervously crunching on my Pickle Pringles hoping this was going to be the date to end all dates. A fairytale that involved our Prince Ryan and Princess Ashley.

Ashley begins by saying that she has heard the other guys talk about Ryan, "But I don't care what they say. Whatever! I like him. He's positive, gorgeous, really successful."

They meet at their date spot and he gives her the biggest hug, lifting her off the ground. Swoon! 

"I am so happy to be here. I slept so great last night," said CdM Ryan. He tells the cameras, "When I'm with Ashley everything else disappears."

They visit a temple where many people are praying.

"There were hundreds of people singing, praying with all of their soul," said CdM Ryan. "There was something really romantic about it."

Ryan and Ashley partook in an ancient matchmaking ritual where they broke off pieces of brick, made a wish and tossed it on the ground. The bricks had to land opposite each other for the wish to come true. 

Ryan wished they would have a happy future ahead. However, Mr. Ancient Matchmaking Brick did not hear Ryan and landed opposite. It was not a good sign. 

Ashley and Ryan sat and talked for a bit. "He has a great outlook on life, but I don't know if I feel that romantic connection with him," Ashley said in her head, but we could hear it. She has a very loud head. 

Ryan: I'd like you to come home to my family. Hopefully you want to come home to my family.

Ashley's Head: I don't know if I'm ready to meet Ryan's family. I don't know how to handle it. 

And then ... awkward silence. Almost as awkward as this backless top Ashley was wearing. Can the fashion police please arrest Ashley. Do they have special units in Taiwan?

Of course Ryan had no idea what Ashley was thinking.

"This day has exceeded all expectations," said CdM Ryan. "I feel like I'm on Cloud nine, Cloud 10."

(Great! You and J.P. can share the same cloud.)

Ryan then changed topics to the environment. Ashley mentioned that she once had a boyfriend who broke up with her because she threw away a plastic bottle.

"I don't have much knowledge, teach me something," Ashley told Ryan. 

So Ryan did what any normal, caring man would do: talk about tankless water heaters ... duh! As he went into detail about water heaters Ashley's head started talking again. 

Ashley's Head: I feel a passion with some of the other guys that I'm not feeling with Ryan. He's gorgeous, smart, successful, but I'm still waiting for that moment. 

If Ashley's Head would just stop talking for a second, she could have learned how to save money on her heating bill every month. 

Ashley told Ryan right then and there her feelings:

Ryan: My mom knows I really want to find someone.

Ashley: Honestly, (Ashley starts to cry) this is really hard for me. You're my perfect guy in my head, but I'm not feeling that. I don't see you as my husband. 

Ryan: So you don't want to meet my family? (OK ... this was kind of funny. She just dumped you, Ryan. Hello?)

Ashley: I'm just not feelin' it, you know.

Ryan: Well...you just don't feel it (zoom in on the red Kabbalah string around his wrist, strike a pose Madonna!).

Ashley: I respect you and don't want to put your family through that. 

Ryan: I was really looking forward, whatever, doesn't matter now. 

OH! That is so sad. How could you Ashley?

Ryan, to the camera: Wow! 

Ashley's Head: When I was telling Ryan goodbye. That look in his eyes made me want to rethink my decision. I'm not 100 percent certain I made the right decision. 

Ryan: I'm shocked. I don't want to be alone. I want to share this life with someone. (A lone tear wells up in Ryan's eye). I felt like she was the one for me. I didn't see it coming. I want someone more than you have any idea. (Ryan is crying now and has to walk away from the camera, he sits down a bench and takes a deep breath).

Take Two. Ryan faces the cameras again. Wearing his cute pink shirt (confident man), his baby blue eyes piercing through the camera lens. 

Ryan: I want to find that person. I want to love someone unconditionally. (He's really choked up now). I want real love. I want real never-ending love that I can be myself with and she can be herself with. Who shares the same joy and passion for life that I do and wants to be a great mother and I want to be a great dad. And I will someday, someday I will. 

Shakespeare? Did you hear that? You couldn't have written a better love sonnet than that! That was like Love Story on crack. 

So thanks Ashley for crushing our dreams and erasing "... and they lived happily ever after" forever. I hope you are cursed with dot dot dots for eternity! Hahahaha! (that was my sorry attempt at a wicked witch evil laugh, sounds scarier in person). 

Taiwan is known as the hidden jewel of Asia, but should be known as the hidden land of disappointment. Poor Ryan was dragged out like wet cat through the entire show, only to be dumped without even getting a fair shot. 

Ryan's Facebook page is already blowing up with sympathy posts. Girls are already campaigning for him to be the next Bachelor. 

Dear Ashley, why did you wait so long to give our Ryan a first date? He was the frontrunner from the beginning. The most charming one of all and you just treated him like an old sock monkey, getting close to all the other bachelors, keeping Ryan patiently waiting on the side. 

In case you are interested, there was a rose ceremony, blah, blah, blah. J.P., Constantine, Ben and Ames will be taking Ashley to meet their parents and Lucas will join Ryan in the dearly-departed bullpen. 

Goodbye CdM Ryan. Maybe I'll see you at the Crow Bar! I'll buy you the stiffest drink they have and you can cry on my shoulder about Ashley. Promise I won't take advantage of you. Wink Wink.